It Hurts The Most

I know I haven't been blogging, cause I don't feel like I want to anymore. But this painfun feeling in me has led me back to blog again to let loose everything that I don't want and don't need in my life.

Again... it's sad to say it's got something to do with my dad.... I don't understand why, but there's so much I hate about him. From the character, to the looks, to his heart... everything!

He may not like me being a christian, because he's not one. But what rights does he have to stop me from doing the things I love? I've got a job from SYFC... it's may consist of some christian stuff, but I told you it's more about activities and all... afterall, it's just a job, I get to earn money, you get some of the money, I get experience, I get joy... But why must you give excuses to stop me from going? I can tell from your look you don't want me to get involved! I know that you hate me raising up anything about Christianity. But, I've already told you the truth! Do you even know how much courage it took me to tell you a simple line? You know how many days I had to take to decide to tell you this? And do you know you've completely lost my love just by rejecting?

Another.... I've got church camp coming up. I tell you it's like any other camp, but you don't believe. Before I could tell you more, you shot at me saying, NO. You said it's better to go for the poly camp, but what has it got to do with the Church camp? They're on seperate dates! You don't have to make up another excuse to stop me. I already know you're not willing. I've prepared myself for the worse, but I still can't handle it.

That's not all... friends of mine get to go out where and when they like, for however long. They usually get (what I consider) large amount of money and sometimes still ask for more. But what about me? I get $5 for going out? Like come on! You are supposed to provide for me. You can't expect me to go out and eat only right! My friends will be buying things and I'll be the only one going home empty-handed. I've got reasons for saving my money. What's given is up to me to spend. But what you have not given, at least give me an amount that more reasonable... not just some $5!

I HATE YOU!!! In fact, I've got more than just these reasons to hate you!