Broken Hearted

There's just this day I feel like spending time by myself. Leave me in a lonely room to cry my heart out. At the same time, I wish to have someone who truly care and love beside me. Lend me a shoulder to cry on and wipe away each tear that falls from my eyes. Give me a hug that's ever so tight and warm. Say to me that everything's alright because I'm beside you now.

I really wonder how long I haven't felt this sad. It felt like last year.... But why this sudden sadness?

I've been hiding things from everyone all these while. How I wish I could just forget them so it will hurt me no more. But NO! The memory etched, the pain stays on, the tears flow. It's been so painful to know that the person whom you are not supposed to hate, you now hate the most. Despite all that love and care from him, I still hate him. Hate him not because he hasn't been good enough for me. But hate him for causing me so much hurt, so much sorrow and bitterness. The kind of pain that will last forever.... the kind of pain that no one will want... The kind of pain that........

It's hurting so much within. An added burden apart from my studies. It's so heavy, I can't take it anymore. How I long.... to never have to face him again. To never have to acknowledge him in my life. To never have to say I LOVE YOU or I FORGIVE YOU out of force, but to willingly and courageously say I HATE YOU, GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!

It's so much I have endured. I want to leave this place for good. I don't belong here.