I must say that today was a horrible day. I don't have the mood to do anything. All I need now is someone to talk to. I want to release everything that is bothering me so much.

For a moment, I feel like quiting CO. I can't seem to play well now. I'm so frustrated. I want to push the blame to everything else. The instrument is lousy, because the school is so budget. I have no mood to play. I don't dare to play. I'm not musically telented... There's so many things I can put the blame on. But what I should do is to practice harder. PRACTICE HARDER?? How hard then should I practice? I've been giving in so much.

What then should I do now? I'm so desperate for perfection. All that is in my mind now is blame blame and blame.

Now, my mood is so horrible. Want to rest for the day and let everything rest. But when I got home......what do I get?! Naggings from both my parents. Oh!! Come on lah!! Both of you don't know me well yet. Yo udon't even know how I'm feeling. I'm already so hurt and now what?! Nag at me some more?! Can't you see my expression? What am I implying to you? I'm trying to say that I'm pissed! How then on earth are you not able to see that. Still can say you my parents. Shame on you! Even my friends know when I'm down.

Morning and night--->emo time. Afternoon--->rejoicing time, time to go real crazy.(EVERYDAY)