Weighed Down

Grandma in hospital, Mum's sick, I'm still coughing, SYF is 2 days away, EMDD is 2 days after SYF, Mid-Year's starting from 27th April. Just weighed down to the lowest moments. My world turned grey.

Had to cook for mum today. Dinner felt plain. It's different. I feel like a poor child, sick and tired, looking after mother. Ate dinner myself and it just seems so different. I think about it... Those TV shows about those children, small and frail, taking care of their parents... It feel like that to me. Seemingly joyful in school, but never expect this. Home is where all problems pop up.

Call it an unlucky day? I don't think it's the right word to use. It's just meant to be this way and accept it as it is.

I sprained my thumb during PE. I slipped and fell forward when I landed for standing broad jump. Now it hurts and I'm just fortunate that it wasn't hurting during CO or I wouldn't even have been able to hold my instrument. All things are affecting my CO. First was ulcer, then was sore throat. And now, my thumb, the most important finger.

My days are fading... it's collapsing... crumbling and diving downwards. I want to be set free... I want to let go of all things. I just need time alone.