Inconsolable

I picked up a quarrel with my father today. No idea how it all started, but yes... whatever he said sure was hurtful enough to keep me crying non-stop. I guess I'm just troubled with many things till I have no idea how to handle. God was with me, but I still can't take it. Think I have to pray hard now. I'm so down, so inconsolable. Don't even know if I'll break down tomorrow.

That's the feeling of being adopted by a couple who adopt for the sake of company. Not one thing goes right. I doubt anyone can understand this. Even they don't even know what's running through my mind and I have no idea who else would. It's hard to find someone to talk to. That forever feeling of 'I don't belong here' or 'I'm just someone exta', lingers inside of me. I'm just hoping that someone would one day come up to me, spend time with me and get to know my life better. I don't want to keep that feeling in me anymore. It's bringing my happiness to nothing. I don't want to go up to people. And my reason for doing that is because I want to know who really cares about me. I'm double tasking. Releasing my troubles and finding who's the one who really do care and is a true friend. I've got friends who make use of me, and I hate that kind of personality.

Don't even think I'll be talking to my parents anytime soon. I waiting also for the time they would bother to talk to me, to learn more.

Suddenly, I feel like drinking and getting myself drunk. I've never tried that because I don't even drink. But if I could, I would.