It's been days, since I've wanted to feel God's presence. Everything seems so fake to me. Even the thought of God was like as though He never existed. I was lost, and still am. It was hard to pass the days without Him. Everything around me just pushed me to the ground. The weight was so heavy. And today, didn't even feel like going to Church somehow. A bit reluctant. During my journey to Church, I felt so empty. I thought of just letting out everything. All that weighed on me through the week. A moment of tears was needed, but I was shy. The other side of Rachel Vu is actually all in this blog. I am not who I really am on the outside. I'm a totally different person. Only people who bothers to learn more about me and are close to me will know the true me. Not even my parents know who I really am. It's hard to explain everything here, but I'm just not myself...totally.

Christmas is near, but my mood for that is still not up. I'm afraid this Christmas won't be a joyous one for me. I just hope everything would resolve in my heart and I can LIP(live in peace).

I've changed my view of the work given to me. I've thanked God for this opportunity to experience working life. Though, I would say. When you work, you get hooked and nothing would get you off the seat. Your eyes, fixed to the screen and you will not even think of having a break. No time, was one reason. The second is you want to get everything done. Now I've finally realised why whenever lunch was ready and I had to call everyone to have their meal before they continue, some of them like my mother, would still be glued to the seat and eyes concentrating only on the screen.